Deconstruction

morning after the journey 
from Heaven down to Hell
we flew all night past the warning signs 
unaware of the dice-roll just ahead.

contents of our baggage strewn 
shredded on the hotel floor — 
cabbage, torn apart
our backs to the Great Divide
you’re off to hide in Maryland
i jump the tram to Disneyland.

study myself in the looking-glass
but another joker’s face is there
comb his hair, brush his teeth
sit in his chair at the restaurant
eat his pancakes, swipe his keys 
pretty as you please
step on the gas, not a backward glance
roam his wild-ass dreams
nothing beats the clarity of madness.

ghosts in the belfry smash my bell 
spawning dark spirit spells
i stroll between the tombstones 
arranging dead flower stems.
my wandering bones dissolve
detach themselves from my soul
the cashier in her cashmere sweater 
points her nose at the door
i realize I’m all lost up
there’s nowhere out of here.

Walgreens parking lot, 1 am
got to walk straight for the officer.
shake out webs spidy spun in my head: 
2-step, 6-step, Lego leg, Blender —  
footwork all the same to them.
vertigo, alcohol; who’s to tell?
cufflink, bend head 
take a free ride on the public dime.
station break, breath test 
inky fingers, blood test;
babe, they say I’m all screwed up 
but really, I’m really just pissed.
 
*

morning in the psych ward; who the hell are you?
the blackness of last night 
paints the canvas of my mind.

“doc will see you soon 
here, just take this pill.”

why am I still here? 
there’s nothing wrong with me? 

“take this pill and settle down,
the doc will be here soon.”

i’ve had it with pills, your obfuscation.
you’re out of tune, cacophony.
you may be in the conversation 
but you’re not really real 
just pinch yourself, i’ll prove it 
pop your pretty balloon, set your helium free
you’re the one who’s ill. i’m the one who’s me.

“we detect rebellion, a hint of insurrection.”

911 — where’s the fire alarm? 
got to escape this tinderbox
the staff is about to burn it down. 

“an injection will help cool you down.”

hold me down; poke around;
Haldol can’t stop me.
you’re just hallucinations
ghouls I shouldn’t talk to
no joke, no lie, i’m on fire 
get me a water hose
got to keep my wits 
if i’m to run for President.

if only all these residents 
would vote me into heaven
i’d send a text to the devil 
God rest his weary soul
invite him up for a cup of wine
we’d turn the place upside down 
create a free museum 
unveil all the mysteries 
let people see ‘em.