She wastes no time.
> Tell me something about yourself.
> Uh, I have a green nose . . .
> There’s a truck in my bed . . .
> Just shaved my toes . . .
> Gonna buy a used rowboat . . .
> Drive it across the salty sea . . .
> And fish.
> Are you healthy, organized? What is your diet like?
> I can account for all my elbows . . .
> Cat’s wearing my socks . . .
> I’m all pens and knitting needles . . .
> Hard-boiled eggs for breakfast . . .
> Scrambled breakfast for brains . . .
> Supper of scrambled brains.
> How do you feel about technology?
> Cell phone’s almost dead . . .
> I’m texting it to death . . .
> Maybe I’m boring it to death . . . row, row
> I’m a bored-to-death phone-killing omelet . . .
> Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily . . .
> Life’s a railroad train.
> Do you have any past relationships I should know about?
> Once upon a time . . .
> In a far off land called Evanston . . .
> I was a young man . . .
> Met a girl named Pam . . .
> Gave her a string of beads . . .
> And off she ran to the Philippines.
> She just left?
> Eeny meeny miny moe . . .
> All the things . . .
> she forgot to bring . . .
> Like me . . . my shoes and socks . . .
> My shirt, my pants . . .
> And baseball cap.
> What did you do?
> Swam all night . . .
> Naked as a fish . . .
> From head to toe . . .
> Realized . . .
> After flopping ashore . . .
> I swimmied to the wrong island.
> I don’t know; it’s a crazy story.
> Acorn squash for a heart . . .
> Butter in my veins . . .
> Mash me up; I’ll fill your plate . . .
> Look, it’s not that bad . . .
> It all makes perfect sense, you see . . .
> My upside-down, inside-out turned world.
my id
left to its own devices
speed dials
the International
Date Line
First published in cattails